HersHisTheirs
by alxndrjosephine
Summary: A series of POV and conversation between Harry and Ginny five years after he defeated Voldemart he was sorry, she was mad they still love each other.
1. Chapter 1

**Hers:**

The moment I saw him standing there, I felt the same conflicting emotions of yesterday, those same emotions I fought so hard to forget. I may have moved on but still, one can never really, truly forget.

Has it been that long?

"Yes"

I wanted to drown...in his eyes...

So, how have you been?

Piercing emerald green eyes stare into mine.

"It could have been a lot better..."

Really? How?

Trying not to break eye contact, trying to be as unaffected as possible. He did not answer me right away nor did he look away.

Then,

I was drowning.

"You could have been there with me if I only had the courage to go back for you"

Damn it. Why now.

"It's your turn to turn quiet on me; complete reversal of roles. I deserve that much"

You never came back for me; I was never in any position to wait.

"You knew better than that, you must have known what you meant to me"

How could I know, you never once told me what I meant to you; I didn't know I meant anything at all.

**His:  
**  
This is not the way I imagined this conversation would be. Her words were true, that hurt me the most because I knew what lies behind her brown eyes.

I am sorry.

I said the words as if they were the last ones I'll ever say.

"Sorry? For what?"

For not coming back, for not saying what you deserve to hear.

I was trying to catch her eyes, to once again see beyond what she wants me to think.

I wanted to drown.

"It's not important anymore. I only remember you the way I want myself to remember you, you do the same; at least we have that. In truth, I don't know you any better than you know me"

I wanted to scream, to refute by saying that's not true. But how can I when all our lives I really never gave her any reason to believe otherwise.

The moment I saw her earlier, I knew I had lost her; she has forgiven but also forgotten about me.

Is there somebody else?

I knew that I was in no position to ask her that, but for my own sanity I gave in to my baser need.

She just continued to look at me, stare actually. That was enough; I did not expect her to answer me in the first place.

**Theirs**

Silence.

Long deafening silence; the conversation ended. They just stood there, under the sweltering heat of the afternoon sun, two combatants, neither one wanting to admit defeat,

Or healing.

"Well, I'll see you around then."

Stillness breached.

She started to walk away.

"Wait-"

He felt compelled to say something, anything.

"What?"

"Is this where we're going to end?"

"No"

Hope filled him; something he has not felt in a long time.

Brown looked straight into green ones - decided, sad but firm.

"We ended a long time ago, when you did not come back."

Stillness. Silence. Defeat. Finished.


	2. Her letter

Her Letter

"_The fact that you're here hurts more than you can ever think. I've spent countless hours waiting for your hand to reach out for mine; still you never did. You have the tendency to keep things hidden, locked – confined inside. Maybe because you fear that it can be used against you somehow. All I was asking was to hold your hand while you fight; to stay behind you, not fight beside you, because I know you'll never allow me to. _

_Maybe time would heal all wounds, but it can never erase those memories that still make me cry each night, just to fall asleep._

_I was doing fine, remember? I never asked for your affirmation. I had given up on you; I thought it was enough to be just friends. I would have been happy being friends with you – but then you just decided to give me the best moment of my life: You kissed me in front, not only in front of my git of a brother, my ex-boyfriend, but in front of fifty happy celebrating Gryffindors. That did not last of course. You being who you are, needed to do what you have been destined to do – to save us all, or die trying._

_When you left, you took a part of me with you and I have not been the same since then. Each grueling day seemed like an eternity for me. I prayed the somehow you'd write or make you presence felt. But you never did. It felt as if you forgot that I existed. _

_I used to sit on my bed, looking out my window, waiting for a flap of Hedwig's snowy white wings, for a letter, or a note, even a line in all the five years would have been enough for me. _

_But not one letter came. _

_Not one bloody note_

_After the war, before you came back, I felt I needed to move away. Everyone I care and love was alive; most especially you were alive. _

_Call it cowardly if you wish, but I did not want to face the probability that you completely forgot, or tried to forget about me. I mean you write to Fred and George, to Mom and Dad, but not to me. How could I possibly continue believing that I meant something more than a whim? _

_I left and never looked back... until today..._

_Five years have passed and yet when I saw you again, I felt the same constricting emotion I felt when you hugged me after we won the Quiddith Cup back in my fifth year._

_Before I came today, I knew I'd leave again, no matter how hard it may be. That's why I had to walk away, or my resolve would have rumbled had I not broken eye contact..._

_Because after five long years, you still have my heart, Harry James Potter."_

As I let go of the tear-stained letter, my bed never felt so far lonely, uninviting or so unmade.

Maybe I should really give this one...

Mental note: maybe he wouldn't care...

Maybe the time has come to end it all... to let time pass and estrange myself from everything that he is in my life. To accept that some good thing never last...

knock

Go away.

I'm still angry, I could shout. But my mind gives way as the hypothalamus secretes more hormones...

Arrrgghhh

Momentarily stop...

Let whoever is outside my door knock...

Harry James Potter.

My profoundest joy. My greatest sorrow.

I met him about when I was ten; for me he was the Boy-Who-Lived. When I was eleven, he saved me from a monster. Two years passed by but I could have been wallpaper for all the notice he gave me. During my fourth year, I decided to give up on him; he was never going to see me more than his best friend's kid sister, what better to do than to live my life and stop blushing when he passes by.

After accepting that he semi part of my astroplane, I was able to concentrate on my life. But for some unbelievable reason, he started to talk to me, well at least beyond those hello and cordial greetings. We started to spend time together, especially during the summer of my fifth year. When school started, I somehow felt that he was trying to get me to spend time with him, my brother and my intelligent female friend, but since I was in a relationship, opted to decline his offers.

I thought my mind was playing tricks on me whenever I would see a bit of disappointment or jealousy; I felt those were the last embers of a flame I decided to eradicate. I embraced the friendship; that was all I would ever have I thought.

Then the infamous common room kiss happened.

I fell in love with him because of the person that he was, not the idea that others had still have or had of him.

From then on, I was blissfully content and sublimely happy. I gave myself fully, loving him with everything that I have. It got to the point where my whole world revolved around him.

That was my mistake.

I loved him to destruction, leaving none for myself.

"Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you're my best friend's sister. Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know, he'll find out. He'll try and get to me through you."

Then he left.

As he walked further away from me that fateful day of Dumbledore's funeral, I used to say to myself, "It'll be alright Ginny. He'll come back for you."

_ Knock Knock _

Shouts.

Weeping.

Staring at the closed door; goodbye


	3. His Letter

**His Letter**

I had to stop myself from snogging her senseless earlier. I was dying to hold her in my arms, to tell her what she needs to know; what I was so scared to reinforce when I had the opportunity to do so.

Looking at the old letter in his hand, he felt that regardless of the outcome, he needed to make her read this letter.

Not because it will help him move on, but because she deserves to know.

"_I love you. _

_That is the only thing that I need to say. _

_You and I sum up all that I am and all that I need to be. You have given me what no other being, past, present or future can ever give me, your unconditional love._

_You made me believe in the one thing that was both scary and overwhelming. I do not know how to apologize for things that I was not able to meet. I admit that I have fallen short of the kind of man I promised to be. _

_I am truly sorry. _

_Last night was the most scary and painful night of my life; finding you gone, with no clue where I could find you. _

_You once asked of me to let you go and my answer then still hold true: I am not prepared to live without you nor will I ever be prepared. I would do everything in my power to keep you in my life: not because I need you to be there but because I want you to be there._

_The most special times of my life in confined in you; I feel like the most important person in the world when I am able to make you smile. Fighting the darkest wizard in a century does not scare me as much as the thought of losing you does. I feel that I have won the Quidditch World Cup when you say you love me. I feel both powerful and humble when I hold you in my arms. _

_I would never allow anything to take those feelings away. I may not always be able to say it, express it or reinforce it but I will always love no other but you, Ginerva Molly Weasley."_

After slipping the letter under her door, I knocked; no answer.

This cannot be happening.

I cannot lose her.

Not again.

I feel like my whole body is made of lead. Could she really hate me that much that she could not even open a door to slap me, curse me, hex me?

This is your fault moron. You have managed to hurt her over and over again. Wordlessly drowning in regret will not help you convince her of the words you wrote all those years ago; she needs proof. She needs you be stop compartmentalizing everything in your life, including her and how you feel for her.

Why do you find it hard to open up, even to her?

Because you are trying to safeguard yourself from the probability, no matter how slight, of losing her; the mere thought is paralyzing.

Have you gone completely mental! Do you honesty think she still cares about you; and in terms of losing her, seems you already have.

Deep sigh

Every night for five years, I dreamt about no other face but yours: the little 10-year-old girl who ran after the Hogwarts Express; your flaming red hair as you lay on the brink of death down in the Chamber of Secrets; the way you comforted your brother after he was turned down by a veela during my fourth year; the way you stood you to me when I tried to stop you from coming with us to rescue my godfather; you grew up before my very eyes and it took six years to realize what was there from the start: you are my equal.

I still do not know what possessed me to kiss you when we won the Cup, but it remains, if it could be classified as one, my favorite mistake.

I tried to protect you... too much in hindsight.

knocks head on the door

Standing outside her door, after five years, would not help you win her back.

I cannot let her leave again.

That will be the death of me.

I have to do something.


End file.
